I come from a family that likes to have drinks every now and then, perhaps my mother more than usual (we can all laugh together). Now, I was the girl who probably like most others started drinking in her early teens. Maybe I was trying to escape from reality with drugs and partying but I really never thought I overdid it, I also never thought of it that way… But anyway, moving on.
I wouldn’t say it was overly bad, I got into some trouble every now and then as my parents would find me at parties or somewhere drinking (teenage crap).
The first time it got really bad was winter of 2012, it turns out I cannot drink tequila. I went out with my friends and I was dating the all time loser of my life at that time (just thought I’d throw that in as it probably was causing me mental issues). I honestly to this day still cannot remember what happened. I got home and there was some type of argument that I got involved in, things ended up getting out of control. My father told me I’m sick in the head or something along the lines of and I remember running across the room to punch him in the face with anger. Then I remember my sister running after me and in my mind I must have thought everyone wanted to fight with me because I punched her in the face too.
Everything was so blurry to me, I feel like something happened with my brother that made me snap (happens often). I must have just taken it out on everyone.
Those years were probably the worst of my life, I was really struggling on the inside, trying to look okay on the outside, it wouldn’t work when I started drinking.
I look back and yeah I’ve had some really fun times under the influence but the times that have gotten out of control haven’t been worth it. I would take back all the drinking in my life if it meant being able to take back all the moments I had that went wrong. These times really affected me, my family and my friendships.
Anyway, I noticed that lately I haven’t been feeling well when I drink. I feel overall sick, my tummy never feels good and I’m starting to feel lazy the morning after which I hate…. Wait, am I getting old?! Haha.
Is drinking really worth it anymore? Maybe if I stop drinking, I’ll loose weight and feel better overall.. Maybe I’ll never have to experience another bad moment in my life.
Just my thoughts,